Can you Categorize Happiness?

Drop #58: Identify 50 Things that Make me Happy

     I must admit, it is taking me much longer to find 50 things that make me happy than I had planned. I realize that this statement makes me sound kind of depressing (ungrateful? snobbish?), but finding that many things is actually a lot of work! Sure, instead of grouping those closest to me under categories such as 'friends' or 'family', I could go ahead and start listing individual names. However, that's not the purpose of this project. I'm supposed to be digging deep within myself, pulling out the happiness that, maybe, I unknowingly overlook every day. Happiness is always around the corner. The goal is to identify it.

     I've come up with about 30 things for the list so far. Something that I find quite interesting is that most of the items thus far seem to one of a few categories.

     "Stephanie, you find that interesting? Why?! You need a life!" 

You're right. I do need a life.

     But that's besides the point. What makes this interesting is that everything seems to be falling in to a handful of categories. This suggests that, at least for the things that we may immediately identify as making us happy, are very similar. Even though they are unique, I think I can argue that there is a single concept behind all of these categories.

     Well that sounds boring. Anyways, about the categories. I've found five:

Relationships

Husband=Happiness :-)

       One of the first things that is sure to grace nearly everybody's definition of happiness involves those who they are close to. Be it friends, family, co-workers, roommates, pets etc., those who we interact with on a fairly intimate basis and have developed a positive relationship with have had an impact on our lives. Each person, pet or what-have-you has his or her own quality, quirk, or uniqueness that makes them stand apart from the rest. These unique qualities in those we are close to create unique and meaningful relationships- relationships that ultimately contribute to our own identities. These people influence us, support us, and are there for us in any number of ways. These positive relationships are a significant contributing factor to our happiness.

Places

Where Happiness Begins...?

Hence the coined expression 'go to your happy place.' Special memories are often developed around places, and so we assign to them their own personal meanings. The town or house you grew up in, where you got married, a special vacation spot; these are all places that, by visiting or thinking about them, bring joy. Maybe it's a quiet spot where you can sit and reflect such as a loft, a quiet room, or a favorite comfy chair. These types of places are easily accessible, and being in them bring on a certain unique content-ness. Regardless of whether or not you visit sparingly or come often, special places result in a unique quality of happiness.  

Material Objects

Oaxacan Wood Carvings=Happiness :-)

I'd have to call you out on your lie if you told me that you didn't have objects in your life that gave you joy. It can be any number of things, and any number of meanings can be assigned to them: A childhood toy or blanket that you won't part with; a special sort of item that you collect. For some this item might be something expensive like a car or house. Although the connection with this item may not be as profound, these items are also sacred, usually because they are a symbol to their owner of the hard work and effort achieved at obtaining them to begin with. It's not selfish to realize and accept that these things make you happy. It should be embraced.

Food

Mongolian Food=Happiness :-)

We are human beings, and we love food. We have favorite foods, guilty pleasure foods, comfort foods. We like certain foods made certain ways, have preferences as to what goes in to our foods, and most importantly, what stays out of our foods. Some foods hold special meanings or memories, such as grandma's secret zucchini bread recipe or Dad's homemade pizza. We are foodies. Feed me.

    

Activities

Stalking Fish Prey=Happiness :-)

Hobbies, sports, watching television, browsing online or social networking, going out to eat, gaming, hunting (or, in my cat Jack's case, fishing.) It's those things we enjoy doing when we have some downtime: 'me time.' It's what gives us joy and pleasure in our lives. Personally, many of the happiest activities for me are the ones that I can do easily without going out of my way such as paint, blog, ride bike, etc. Other activities also make me happy such as snorkeling, traveling, etc., but they are not as easily accessible.

     I briefly stated that these categories may all be connected by one underlying factor. I have a theory; that happiness can be found in anything that we associate with positivity based off of our previous experiences with those things. That is to say, happiness as we typically define it is brought on by our interactions with the things we are familiar with, and that we have had a positive experience with in the past:

• Relationships are a definite source of happiness because of the positive foundation that we have built with those people. It is the previous experiences that has given our current relationships meaning and substance. Even negative experiences can have a positive impact, making relationships stronger and more resilient.
• Places that make us happy do so because of the positive memories that we've built there in the past. Like many religious temples or grounds, places that make us happy are our own personal sacred grounds. They hold a special and unique meaning that even the thought of the place can bring joy.
• Objects that make us happy have assigned personal meanings to them that are unique to the individual. Whether the object is something with great sentimental value or a symbol of hard work or overcoming hardship, it is often a positive and personal symbol.
• It is said that of the five senses, the sense with the best memory is that of smell. Without scent, you cannot taste Food. The smell of a favorite food itself is easily recognizable and incites happiness; something that would not be recognized without previous experience. Our favorite foods can have any number of associations attached to them, but surely they wouldn't be our favorites if the thought of the food reminded us of that time we threw up after eating it.
• If certain Activities didn't bring pleasure, we wouldn't do them for fun. We take on certain hobbies, events, etc because we like doing them and, like food, if we had too many bad experiences, the activity wouldn't be enjoyable anymore. Thus it is the building of of prior experience with the activity and gaining a better understanding of it that results in happiness when we do it.  

     I can only argue this point about those things that we most recognize as making us happy- those things that we first think of when we reflect on what makes us happy. For me, this seems to be the first thirty or so things. As I'm going along trying to find the last twenty or so things for my list, I'm finding that my happiness is becoming more and more abstract. I'm adding things that are hard to define, yet make me happy in a different sense.

     But enough of that! I can't say much about what I haven't done yet. Maybe by the time I finish the list, I'll have a better idea of what the hell it is I am trying to say.

What defines your happiness?

The Life of a Pregnant College Senior

"Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginning's End"

- Semisonic

     It feels like I am wrapping up so many thing in a four month period! I'm already feeling anxious, disorganized, and unprepared. Most of it, I think, is because there are so many things that are supposed to happen within the next few months, but nothing seems to be written in stone. I'm not one that has to have everything planned all the time but jeez, I need some sort of idea about what's going on when, if at all!

Final Semester

     Clark U, I'm baaack! It's my last semester! And this is what must be the only part of my life I feel organized about right now. Despite the organization, there is a lot that has to be accomplished this semester! Some of them are fairly substantial, so I am already trying to read ahead. No doubt that this may prove to be the biggest resume-building semester of my undergrad career.

1. I'm taking a class on influencing public policy on the state level, which I am really stoked about. I'll be helping in putting together the Family Impact Seminar taking place this Spring in Boston.
2. I'll be presenting group research with other students in my Cultural Psychology class during Academic Spree Day (date not yet announced, usually late April) 
3. I'll have the opportunity to publish a research paper. Hey! That's on my list!

     Looking at it now, it doesn't seem so bad. I think it's just knowing that all of this is happening in such a short amount of time, and during a time where my personal life is completely disorganized. All finals are due May 9th and then graduation from college is May 20th! I'll be able to cross that off the list!

**Note: Also currently working on my applications to Graduate schools-
another goal on my list that needs completing

23 Weeks

Carrying the Peanut

     I've seen quite a few pictures and, for 23 weeks, I'm pretty small. I'm considering myself pretty lucky- I've had no real aches, back pains, leg cramps, etc that a lot of other women experience. The only slight annoyances I've had thus far is swelling of the hands (not feet, though) and a soreness of my upper left leg. I'm probably jinxing myself right now.

     I think the thing that is giving me the most anxiety is not knowing where we're going to be living when baby comes. It's our hope to move back up closer to family, but when? It isn't even something that we can necessarily push- it has to fall in to place at the right time. I'm probably not very anxious about it at all, but the change in hormones have really had an effect on my mood within the past few weeks. The whole first half I was proud of my lack of mood swings and then BAM! I'm mostly trying to recognize when my emotions feel disproportionate to the extent of the issue and then gauge my reaction appropriately. I can't always control the emotion, but I can control my reaction.

     There's a lot going on! I just have to focus on managing my moods and not panicking about upcoming deadlines, and everything will be okay. It's always been, and most likely always will be, mind over matter.

Let's get this party started.

A Small Rant About Today's Blogosphere

Complete: Drop#78- Guest Post on Someone's Blog/Site

     What I learned in the past few days: The blogging world is a lot  more complex than I originally thought!

     What do I mean by this? When I started this blog about a year ago, I had one goal in mind: to start a blog where I could document my progress as I worked on crossing off the goals I accomplished on my bucket list. It was that simple. I didn't want to make money or promote myself for the sake of becoming published. I didn't even necessarily have a message I wanted to promote. I had no target audience in mind or affiliates to link to. I didn't have any of the tools or ambitions that are in a blogger that are necessary in making a blog successful. I was oblivious to this. It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I discovered the truth about the blogging world. I can't say I like it.

     Truth is, most blogs that I have come across seem to have one aspect in common: the desire to make money, or to tell others how to make money. It seems like everybody feels they are an expert in drawing traffic to your blog, linking to affiliates, building a successful business, marketing, beauty products etc. In other words, everybody is an expert on everything. To me it's boring, repetitive, and overworked. Is that what I should be doing? Should I be relaying a message, playing expert, and writing 'How To' articles in the hopes that someone will read my post and take in to consideration my advice?

     Should I care?

     No, I don't think I care. I refuse to change my blog in an attempt to cater to a particular audience. I won't sacrifice the value and originality of my content or my thoughts so that I can draw a high readership. I am not out to make a buck blogging full time, and I'm not trying to exaggerate or stretch opinions to back up my own point-of-views. I am here, right now, writing about my experiences the way they took place and document how I did them.

     With that said, there is nothing wrong with a little self-promotion!

     I put the desire to be a guest writer on someone else's blog a few days ago. I didn't realize how quickly I would accomplish it! Overall, I believe it was a good experience. It gave me an opportunity to relate my interests to someone else's and provide a sample of my writing, style and ideas on a different site for an audience that I may otherwise not have reached. After all, I can't think of any blogger who doesn't want their blog read.

     To check out my first guest blog post, click below!

Adding Value to Your Travel Bucket List

 Almost everybody has a list of places they want to visit in their lifetime. Although the intentions are good, many people simply never follow through with their dream to travel. It's easy to have the desire to visit specific destinations, but actually going to all these places....

     Hey Stephanie, here's a question- Will you guest blog again?
     Simple answer: yes
     More thorough answer: as long as I've got nothing else going on, am not wasting my time on  content that doesn't represent me and my beliefs, or on a site that clearly doesn't value content.

     Here's another question- Will you be seeking guest bloggers for this site?
     There's only one answer here- For what? Who's going to blog about my bucket list? About my experiences? About what I'm doing to work towards crossing more off my list?
 

     ... I'll consider it.

How to Get Off of Facebook- And Stay Off

Complete- Drop #47: Wean Myself from Social Media

  
      Let me just say this: if you are one of the 175 Million People who log in to Facebook at least once a day, there is no weaning yourself. It's similar to a drug. How many cigarette smokers are addicted and yet choose to only have one cigarette each week? Not many. Sure, it happens, but the reality is that very few individuals are able to control the urge to check their accounts, especially when it's just a mouse click or finger-tap away.

     Sure, Facebook has its benefits. I can now easily connect with people from all different periods in my life. I can easily organize an event, check up on my favorite product, an announcement easily reaches an important target audience- people I know.
     Bored? How easy it is to fulfill my desire for instant satisfaction and a relief to my boredom! It is this underlying concept that makes social sites such as Facebook so addicting. Instant connections, instant boredom relief!

     Facebook has its drawbacks as well. If you are a daily user, the site is bound to cumulatively take up a good amount of time out of your day. Much of this time is spent wandering aimlessly around the site, 'FB stalking' others profiles, etc. It's only human nature to be curious, but never before has there been such a tool that has catered to that curiosity.